On the Path to Presence – Personal Insights and Experiences
True presence begins with staying awake in triggering moments, recognizing our emotional reactions, and choosing consciously how to respond—instead of reacting automatically.
On the Path to Presence – Personal Insights and Experiences
Dear Reader,
Today, I’d like to share some reflections and personal experiences on the topic of presence and being present—a theme that touches all of us, especially in moments when we’re emotionally triggered or under pressure.
Why Presence Is So Difficult—And So Important
We all know these situations: a partner’s remark, a comment in a meeting, an unexpected message—and suddenly, we react automatically. Personally, I tend to withdraw into silence and passivity. Others respond with aggression. Both are patterns—and neither truly leads to connection or resolution.
The key is to stay awake when the trigger comes. Not to react immediately, but to pause, notice the pain or anger—physically, emotionally—and consciously decide how to respond.
A simple first step: Don’t react at all at first. Observe how that feels. Maybe later—after minutes or hours—you can calmly say: “That hurt me. I don’t hold it against you, but it didn’t feel good. Can we work on this?”
Three Levels of Awareness—and a Fourth
In my last podcast, I spoke about four levels of consciousness that help us break free from automatic patterns:
Emotional Level: Spontaneous emotional reaction (anger, hurt). Often leads to conflict or withdrawal
Intellectual Level: Arguing, needing to be right, debates. Often still emotionally driven and not helpful.
Presence Level: Pausing, observing, staying calm. Enables conscious choice.
Transpersonal Level: Looking beyond the self—to team, organization, society. Encourages understanding and broader perspective
A personal example: A four-page analysis from a consulting firm on social security between Germany and Switzerland initially triggered anger in me—it was about my money, my existence. But after a few days of reflection, I realized: behind these regulations lies a shared goal—protecting people in retirement. Suddenly, I no longer saw just an attack, but a meaningful societal context.
This shift—from personal frustration to broader understanding—is typical of moving toward presence.
Staying Present Under Pressure
In daily life, we often don’t have days, but only seconds to respond. Stress, time pressure, rapid sequences of events—these are the real tests.
Yet practice helps. My experience as a leader and trainer shows: when one person in the room stays calm, they can transform the entire atmosphere. Others sense this calm — especially if it’s the leader, but not necessarily — and can align with it.
Two personal practices that help me:
The Moment Before you have to perform, or say something: Before starting a workshop for instance, I stand in the elevator, take a deep breath, and tell myself: “I am present. The right idea how to start will come.” Often, just seconds before entering the room, a clear image appears —the theme of the day. For this to happen one first needs to have no fear. In fear mostly the right thing will not appear. When fear prevails better prepare every word you want to say very well, maybe even in written form.
Morning Visualization: Before important meetings, I often wake up early—around 5 a.m. Lying there, half-awake, I mentally run through the scene: How will I behave? How will others react? What conflicts might arise? This calm, stress-free preparation after a good night’s sleep is far more effective than evening rumination.
The Journey Is the Goal
Presence isn’t a state you reach once—it’s an ongoing process. It’s not about being perfect, but about becoming more aware. Every moment we pause instead of reacting automatically is a step forward.
And sometimes, it’s enough to simply stay silent—and later, from a place of calm, say the right thing.
Thank you for reading — and I hope these thoughts inspire you to find your own path.
Warm regards,
Alexander Schwedeler
P.S.: If you’re interested in working with me on your presence—whether through coaching or moderating conflict situations—please feel free to reach out
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